BIG ups & downs

Well, Friday ended up being a fairly good day; I napped in bed for a few hours after doing devotions, and did have several nasty panicky hot waves towards the end of my nap; then I got up and homeschooled Peter. Isaiah was feeling too sick to homeschool so I had him lay down. It seems he just has a bad cold, thankfully not the tummy bug going around.

I felt pretty good while homeschooling and between 11:00-1:00, and fairly good while tidying and after Tim came home at 2:00. Felt some anxious waves as we went shopping for a few hours, but these were fairly mild and got less & less. By the time we got home I was feeling much better and felt pretty normal the rest of the evening. It was lovely to be able to actually enjoy our "Miss Marple" movie with my cosy little family. Whereas other nights recently I'd been irritable and didn't like Elizabeth playing with my hair, last night & this night I felt relaxed and enjoyed it like normal!

Saturday was a bit worse but still an easy day overall. I had mild depression which was so mild that I could still enjoy happy things like movies and a pretty catalogue. The depression peaked in late afternoon, then went away for the rest of the evening! I bathed the kids after dinner, felt normal and calm and energetic, and trimmed Bibby's fringe (bangs) and Isaiah's hair. Then we enjoyed another Miss Marple movie!

The Lord's Day was a much worse day. Felt good right when I got up, and cautiously positive that the last three days had probably been my best three in a row since it all started, but mild depression soon came and the day got worse & worse as time went on, even when I took a walk with Elizabeth (Tim stayed home with the boys as they were both sick, particularly Isaiah who slept most of the day). I had a pretty bad evening with anxiety and felt very pessimistic and afraid I was going to stay a lot worse over the next few days.

But today... so far... is pretty good. I woke up at 6:00, took my temperature, and rested till 7:00 when I needed to get up and make Tim's sandwich for work. He usually tries to be off by 7:15-7:20 each morning. Now it's 9:45; I haven't done my usual thing of napping but have gotten the kids and myself breakfast and prayed about the day. I think I'll try resting in the afternoon... maybe that will help the evening??

My Mission for Today: Serve God and my children and husband to the best of my ability, in faith, by His grace! May He give me a good day in which to do that, in His mercy!!